How I Got Lost.


Posted in Random Thoughts by Satish Vijay on June 15, 2009

Writing On Pavement

You give me the yips.
The fucking yips.
You’re beautifully awkward. Your hair eats practically eats your face. You look like a dork but you don’t act like one. You’re sporty. You’re artistic. You’re nice. Your voice is soothing.
But I get the yips when I’m around you. I start to choke up and I say/do stupid things.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Since I can’t directly express my feelings to you, the only other way I know how to would be through the form of writing, but I didn’t know where to start, or what to write or how to write an expression of how I feel. Aqilah told me to just write what I feel. I feel so many things. Too many things actually.

So I wrote. I wrote my fucking heart out. I wrote a bunch of things. They all seemed suicidal. Everything I wrote seemed to emanate the fact that I love you, but I don’t love you. I just really really really like you.

Ahhhhh….. fuck it.

Your existence gives me hope
It makes me believe
Believe that I am okay
Okay for you

Am I okay for you?
I need to be okay.
Let me be okay.
Help me be okay.

Your existence means the world to me.
It gives me a reason to live.
To live my life, knowing that you’ll be there.
There for me when I’m down.
There for me when I’ve lost all hope.
There to reassure me that I’m okay.
Okay for you.

Am I okay for you?
I need to be okay.
Let me be okay.
Help me be okay.

Now tell me
Tell me if I’m okay for you.
Tell me what I can do.
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me.
I need to know.


One Response

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  1. Zul Queen! said, on June 18, 2009 at 12:01 PM

    Yes you are ok for me baby. hahhaa.

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